A woman asks.. “I am at a total and complete loss, there is very little left. Where do I go from here — I am in real need of guidance, information, and support. I don’t know how to fight for my happiness. please help me…”
Aug 8 08
Dear one
what you seek
in this momentis safety above all
the sensation
that you are safe
in this time
that there is an answer
to give you
that will tell you
where peace will come
and the knowledge
that you need not run
from the fear you feel
that you need not
look over your shoulder
and wonder
where
is beauty found
It is the little one
in you that speaks
the one who was once a child
herself
and would return there now
Who once knew
the experience
of being so very small
while others loomed large
and so she could not trust
could not believe
that they would not harm her again
treat her
without consideration
for her vulnerability
her innocence
and her fear
It is she
who rises in you now
who says
oh no
not again
not once more
for I thought
that I was grown now
I thought
that I had found a place
that was mine
and yet
all seems to crumble
all has been
a house of cards
and once again
there is nowhere to turn
no safety
no certainty
anywhere in sight
And so first
dear one
we gather round
to assure you
that the safety you seek
is with you
even now
found within you
even now
and these memories that stir
go far back
into lifetimes of loss
where you were a child
a child with child
a young girl
who bore a baby
and it was a time of wara time
when there was no safety
anywhere
and you wept
both in fear for the child
and in fear for yourself
for how could you
care for her?
How could you protect
one so fragile
when you had no means
to protect yourself?
And herein
lies much of the grief
the feeling that
you lose
your own childhood
you lose
your own freedom
in the face
of such responsibility
and it feels
all the fault
of the aggressor
of another who would take from you
the joy
that is rightfully yours
And this pain arises
like flame in your heart
it burns you
deep into the belly
as if it would kill you
take away
all your dreams
for in war
women do not survive
girls with babies
have them taken away
destroyed
and then the girls are used
as playthings
in the most cruel way
for in war
there is no compassion
no possibility
of protection
for the feminine
in the face of
such masculine betrayal
and coldness
of the heart
And so now
you feel two fears
for yourself
and your child
for the child you were
you are inside
and the baby you would bring
to safety too
for she is you
and you are she
and if you are to feel safe
then there must come understanding
for these aspects of you
the gentle
perfect
and vulnerable child
But we must tell you now
little one
that to run
is never the answerto flee
or to hide
for when it is fear
that is our enemy
it knows
where we can be found
and it follows us
resides with us
keeps us
its prisoner
and while we may think
for a time
we are out of harm’s way
one day
we will turn around
and there will be
all that we feared
just waiting
to bring us down
The answer rather
is to see
that we are much less vulnerable
than we believe
for it is in our passion
for the truth
our passion
for the beauty
we hold in our handsthat will guide us
and once we travel
into
and beyond the grief
there is a place
where we are safe
were no one
can harm us
and it is
in the world
of our own trust
that our perfection
is beyond betrayal
beyond abuse
and it is this beauty
that will rise
and be witnessed
by all
once seen first
through our own eyes
And so we ask you now
to stand
stand true
stand strong
in what you know
that compassion
and faith
cannot be taken from you
that love is all around you
even in the moments
when it feels lost
and it is for you to claim
you to accept
through the clarity
that will come
when you calm the fears
of that young girl
who is so afraid
of grave loss
There is no greater vulnerability
than that
of the young mother
Her passion
for the safety
of the child
is enough to bring her
to desperate measures
and she will fight
for what is hers
for one unable
to fight for herself
This is
your desire
this is your impulse
but we ask you
to breathe first
to see
that the danger you perceive
is a result
of your vulnerability
your sensitivity
and that indeed
you have every power
in you
to face this situation
and speak its name
thus
claiming your powerclarifying your truth
discovering your safety
in your own strength
to see
that you cannot be hurt
will not be hurt
again
as you have
in the past
It is the belief
that you must conceal
in order to be safe
that creates the fear
that creates the danger
for there is love
all around you
little one
love everywhere
that waits to support you
to hold you
through this time
First
you must address your shame
the unconscious belief
that somehow
your pain
is your own fault
and so you must deal with it
all on your own
This is false
We repeat
this is false
for you are
all beauty
and have every right
to safety and trust
in your life
in this moment
and in every way
So claim it nowlittle one
take what is yours
before you
No one stops you
except your own fear
and while this fear
has deep origins
and good cause
it comes to you now
to be addressed
now
this day
not next week
next month
or next year
Give yourself
the gift
you crave from another
Be as fearless
as you would wish
your defender
to be
and discover the joy
of claiming your own strength
for it is in
this very vulnerability
that all power lies
and this is the truth
you are here to teach
to show others
what your new wisdom
will see
The war will end
in your own choiceto stand strong
in the face of it
For no one
can take love away from you
and it is here
that safety
is finally found
You are beyond danger
you are whole
you and your little one
are home
dear child
Let nothing
convince you otherwise
Let your trust
be thus
and your safety
profound
The Three Ages of Woman: Mother & Child orig. Gustav Klimt
Edifice, BEN GRASSO, 2009. oil on canvas
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