June 15/20
When the chasm of the canyon opens
when we see there is no way
to stop the fall
we do not look down
but rather we look back
at all that has gone before
We see everything we leave behind
we are fixed upon that which
we are terrified to lose
This is always our frame of reference
always our way to measure ourselves
we are in truth
non-linear in our being
but upon this Earth
we stand in line
So there we are
dropping from the edge into blackness
our footing has slipped away
there is nothing to grasp
no branch
of which we may take hold
our mouths are empty
there are no words left to cry
It is just this moment
never forgotten
where we choose to leave
the world we once knew
An unstoppable gravity
taking us away
from what was once easy
what once seemed beautiful
and true
We fall
We fall and fall
we turn
in the air
floating now
toes uplifted
spine bending
toward the unknown
There is nothing where we go
for no light illuminates this emptiness
and yet
it is the only place left
the great
dark vortex
opened up
ready to swallow us
from so far below
This between-worlds moment
where the letting go
is so complete
there is nothing else
but surrender
here we lose our grip
we fall away
we fall
because we must
And yet this severing between lives
may be the one
for which we have been waiting
because in it we find
that nothing is real
and so everything is possible
and despite the size
of the darkness
the inescapable nature of it
becomes the absolute blessing
becomes freedom
from lifetimes
upon the wheel
The knowledge
that life will leave us
and we will leave life
forces us to tell the truth
and all the runaway pretenders
all the parts of ourselves
we have cast away over the years
come home to be nourished
and to nourish in turn
The dropping away
is the only way forward
so it must be heart-breaking
and graceful
and eternal
for the fall never ends
It is freedom
it is freedom
like never before
and we could not have come here
any other way
There is no other way to discover Heaven
than to let go of life
and so it is on the other side
of seeming to lose everything
that we find
we will never die
We cannot decide about death
until we live it
We cannot otherwise
know what it means
and how it leads us
to who we really are
But we tell you this:
prepare to be amazed
prepare to experience
a very different way to know
why you exist
And so let us welcome
the many little deaths
of our times
welcome to the bridge you create
arching over pain
over tragedy
into the rebirths
the remembering
the remembering
of the Divine
Here we are
falling
infinitely falling
no bottom
no end in sight
and there is no other way to know
this feeling
than to live this moment
just as it has come
And here
is everything we have ever wanted
as everything we have ever feared
rises up
in our sight
Did you know?
This is where Goddess lives
This is the home of the Divine
You are falling into your connection
your heart with Her heart
becoming absolutely
entwined
Every time you weep
you are hearing what must be heard
every time you feel
you are becoming a part of Her
until you begin to see
the fall is feeling easier and easier
air like silk rushing by
and why would we hold on
when we can feel it caress us
in freedom
instead?
This is the space in between
the space of nothing
and everything you have ever sensed
or tasted
and so a place
of no need
This is yours
all yours
as Her arms reach out
soft and warm
huge and enveloping
and there is nowhere to fall
nowhere to fall
but here
Remember this
the next time we stumble
and the fear floods in
remember
you now have nothing but a love
for the experience
of falling
so there is nothing to grasp
nothing to dread
only sweet silk
rushing past your ears
You are the fall.
You are the silken wind.
© AdiKanda 2020