Transmission 2004  

In response to the film, Passion of the Christ.

This
that happened to me
was the purest
of moments
and yet
it was born
from the purest
pain

I cannot tell you
of the pain
without telling you
of the joy
and this
you
who show me die
this
you do not know

If I could take you
into the heart
of the suffering
I felt
I would also take you
in the hearts
of every living soul
for do you not see
that each one of you
has suffered this
each one of you
has felt
as great a pain
and yet each of you
may also
touch god
as I do
if you dare
if you choose

So if you tell
of my pain
you tell
of your own
and if there is a need
to project a vision
of your pain
for all the world to see
then this tells us all
about you
and nothing
about me

For if you were to truly know
and realize
within the boundaries of art
what I lived
when I died
then you would understand
that this depiction
is not necessary

Men and women live
these cruelties every moment
of every day
My fate
was no exception
What was extraordinary
and therefore of interest
was my transcendence
of the experience
and this was born
not out of pain
but out of explosive
joy

For if I can give this gift
not of sacrifice
but of Awakening
to the people
of my world
then there is no greater bliss
in my imagining
and I would share it
over and over
if I were asked

So as you seek
to know me more
or rather to know
what I represent
then be brave enough
to travel into my spirit heart
Ask it
what I felt
and what was given to me
in the power
of offering myself
to god

Ask it
what was my consciousness
not what
did my body feel

And ask it
to tell the truth
about how I too was afraid
to accept
this tremendous gift
That I did fear the pain
until I saw
that even my fear
must be offered up
for the miracle
to occur

There has been so much said
of me
so many likenesses
painted of me
and perhaps
the heartless violence
of this vision
will awaken many to see
how their stories are clearly tempered
not with my words
but with their desires
and their denials

There is a simplicity to me
that can be found
in the truth of this story
for I was
in so many ways
a man
The light
that I came to share
lay in my ability to practice
what most dare not believe
The living of a love
that is there for all
a love
that is everywhere

And yes
in my pain I questioned myself
I questioned god
I questioned much more
than is known
but it was out of this place
of giving up
everything
that my love
was born

This cannot be shown
in a painting
not a still one
not a moving one
but stories must be told
and if you must
tell
of the inner death
and the inner rebirth
not the bleeding of the flesh
and the rising of the body

Tell
those of you
who are born to bring stories
to the world
tell of my joy
in surrendering all
to a depth
I had never known
and though this may not
be explained
it can be felt
and it can
be lived
by every soul
as they return

I welcome myself
to your consciousness once again
May I soon be resurrected
with the grace of truth
told by the heart
and held
by a steady
hand